Authentication Failed

October 10, 2009

My internet has been down for the past four days. The first day, I thought it was just a little glitch and I took the time to work on a project for my Architectural Lighting class. I felt relaxed as I took my time to cook and work pretty diligently through the evening before heading to bed around 1:00am. With no internet to worry about, I didn’t feel like I was constantly reporting and waiting on people. I’ve finally been feeling like I live in Finland. Before, it was like I was trying to live in two places at once. Going to bed on American time and waking up in Finnish time leaves me with a couple measly hours of sleep and no motivation to do much the next day. Since I am cycling 12 to 24 kilometers a day in freezing conditions, it’s pretty hard summon up enough energy to get through, much else do any other work. It has been causing me to be pretty unhappy here and that’s just not me. If I didn’t think I would like this experience, I would not have come. But the fact is, I know I can and will enjoy this experience. I’ve just been so blinded by situations that I’m not even acting like myself anymore.

I think I have mentioned before the overalls that I see the Finns wearing often around town, usually in groups. I got an e-mail the other day about overalls for those studying Architecture being sold. The Architecture overalls are white. Each department has a different color. I think white is fun! Some people didn’t think they were worth the purchase but I have been envying these overalls since I first laid eyes on them. Other people say they won’t wear them in their home country. You better believe I will be wearing these bad boys in America! They’re like all weatherproof and frankly, quite practical here. As for America I just think they’re pretty awesome and may even get a few laughs. I can’t wait to decorate mine with patches and things. After I ordered mine, I went to Stockman with Brittany. They were having some ridiculous sale all week and stuff was very cheap. It was like a madhouse inside. I think all of Oulu was in that one store. Nothing really caught my eye though and I was happy to get outside to the chilly air to catch my breath.

Yesterday, Rebekah tried to give me directions to Prisma so that I could go to Nordea (my bank) and pay my internet bill. Yes, THAT’s why I haven’t had internet. The only problem is that when people tell me directions, I am so busy trying to visualize what they are saying that by the time I’m done picturing the first few turns, they’re done with all of the directions. I, of course, then just nod my head confirming that I’ve understood everything when I actually have a very vague idea of where I should be going. It should come as no surprise that I got very lost trying to find the bank. I loved it. I was lost for a good 45 minutes. I even got off track on purpose for a bit. I took a dirt trail off one of the bike roads.

It is so beautiful to be in the woods. I had my iPod in and I was smiling and enjoying the country I came to be in. There are little red squirrels here that are absolutely adorable. Squirrels in America look like they are on crack. They have huge beady eyes bulging out of their small stiff grey heads. Their tails are wiry and it looks like someone took a cheese grater to their ears. Squirrels in Finland are a beautiful red-brown color and they have tall, wide “German-Shepherd” ears. They have small noses and sweet eyes. Sometimes I think they could pass for kittens with huge tails. Their fur is fluffy and shiny and they prance around all over the place, hopping into nearby bushes and scurrying up the short trees. I’m thinking of a plan to catch one and keep it in my room. I wonder if squirrels like Margherita pizza.

I did eventually find the bank and got everything settled so that I hope to have internet sometime in the next week. Still, a part of me doesn’t want to have it. It reminds me of Beach Project when we didn’t have television or computers or anything. They aren’t bad things and if I felt that I could use them without hindering what I want to do here, I would not care at all if I had it. The inconvenience has been quite slight with it gone. I like to be free. It makes me happy to go about my day exploring and doing things on my own with nobody to answer to. Nobody has to be checking up on me. Nobody is timing me and wondering where I am. This may sound strange or inconsiderate or lonely to some people, but it is what I love. It’s amazing how much I can do here when I just decide to go and do it.